This Is So Frust-citing?

You may not know what this word means, but you’ve experienced it. The term Frust-citing comes from two words that describe two very different emotions; they are frustrating and exciting. Let’s look deeper… To be frustrated means to be disappointed. It’s the result of our plans, actions or efforts not achieving the desired results. It’s when what we’ve done doesn’t produce what we wanted. This is especially hard to handle when we consider the amount of time, effort and energy we’ve put into a particular activity. It's when the worth doesn’t align with the work. It’s like when we buy that bag of chips and quickly realize less than half of the bag has chips in it. Frustration is what happens when don’t get what we expected.

Excitement is different. When something is exciting, we experience it differently. It stirs our emotions. There is a feeling that accompanies it. Excitement brings a certain energy. It’s hard to be excited and those around us not know it. Excitement is a motivator. It’s a catalyst. Please know, though, the things that excite us don’t have to be big or expensive. They simply must have meaning. One of the things I like about excitement is the fact that anticipation alone can cause it. I don’t have to have experienced the thing. Just knowing it’s coming changes my outlook and my mood.

So, what does it mean to be Frust-citing? You’re caught in the middle. You’re straddling the fence. You’re let down and encouraged at the same time. It’s when you don’t like what’s happening but deep down you know things are about to change. It’s when you’re not really feeling what is, but you know how things will soon be. It’s when you feel like pouting, but you’re shouting because what’s next is better than what’s now! Frust-citing is crazy. It’s like living on a rollercoaster. Our ups and downs are connected. We’re happy and sad. We’re mad and glad. We can be crying tears of sadness and tears of joy at the same time. Same eyes, different reasons. Have you been there? Do you find it difficult to be excited about tomorrow because today seems so tough? I get it. I’ve been there. In some ways, I’m there now. As an author, I’ve had the Frust-citing experience of publishing a book. The excitement of seeing my work on Amazon was immediately met with the frustration of low engagement. The highs of my accomplishment were met with the lows of my expectations. So, what did I do? What can you do?

When facing Frust-citing times, do this.

1.     Take inventory. In order for there to be frustration, there must have been a sense of hope. Hope is good. This means there had to have been something we wanted. We were looking forward to something. Hope is a necessary ingredient for life. It fuels us. It helps us rise in the mornings and enables us to face tough times. In my case, I wanted to write and publish a book. I knew I had talent. I had the desire. I had the help. I accomplished that. I’m a five-time published author. But I was Frust-cited.

2.     Maintain the right focus. Where our focus goes, our energy flows. When we focus on the right things, we release energy in that direction. When we focus on what excites us, our outlook and expectations change. As an author, I was overly focused on what I didn’t see and what I wasn’t experiencing. I lost sight of my accomplishments. I published four books in less than two years and am a two-time Amazon best-selling author. I was living with blurred vision. Because my focus was off, my energy was misdirected.

3. Go there before you get there. Our mindsets are critical. They not only affect how we experience things, but they can create the experiences we have. I’ve noticed, a right mindset in a wrong experience can create a more pleasant experience. I’ve also noticed a wrong mindset in a right or positive experience can cause us to miss out on some good things. I was missing out on what I could have been experiencing because my mindset was tied to what I thought I was missing. My mindset is different now. I am who I am, and who I am determines how I proceed. The writing is done for those projects. The mindset is not that I’m an author who is seeking to have others read his work. It’s “I’m a best-selling author who can’t fathom why anyone has not yet read my work”. I solved the problem. I started a blog.

The term Frust-citing was eye-opening for me. I was experiencing two realities. I was between now and next. I was disappointed but hopeful. In Paul’s letter to the Galatian church, he wrote, don’t get tired when doing the right things because when the time comes you will get what you worked for; if you have the strength to make it happen.  I know life can be Frust-citing, but embrace it, it’s a good thing.